When you aren't around, a pillow can be a good substitute.
It's soft and huggable and easy to squeeze.
It lays between my arms as I go to sleep,
And is there when I'm rosy cheeked on the phone.
However, a pillow has flaws of its own.
It can't hold me when I need your arms around.
It can't supply your warmth on my skin.
Simply put, it doesn't have a heart.
When you aren't around, a pillow is not quite a substitute.
What can I say? Guess I miss you.
If I had thought, sought, to find my memories lost
What’d I kill and fray and push back away
Where do I love, of, from the little times past
A caring finger, young and touching the air
All my regrets, pests, stinging bugs on my eyes
My pillow’s home to tears and soft muffled sighs
Because I failed, nailed myself right in the heart
I want an extra chance and turn it all back to day one
The night’s a pain, laid in errant bundles of fluff
All those words you spoke replay in my brain
Can’t walk it off, touching at the cold window’s ice
I shiver hugging knees
It’s three am, again I’m eaten out like a mouse
Scraping at the little cries that remain
Why can’t you see, it’s me that’s speaking with my own heart
My walls will rise if don’t stop this nonsense!
I’d rather fail than you, give me that attitude
This is my truth not a childish lie
You say it’s hurting but, I’m the one left in dust
Preparing the future and my glassy goodbyes
All that you’ve built is nearing to its end and I’m fearing
That I won’t know you soon. Why oh why oh?
You’re terrified of what I’ll be, rejected and pushed to shame
But I’m here to take the blame, it’s who I am!
I’ve made my choices, the bells are now ringing, it melting and lingr’ing
Your face haunts, the day keeps replaying so angry it painting that story.
The drums are beating faster upon layers more
The bass a cacophony throwing my head now
All of the sounds pound into my head leaving no way out
No I don’t need this!
Maybe I’m
Just overthinking everything you said
Three nights overdue, into the future, where it should be through
Why can’t I
Find out a way, to make, it all I want
I just want my day, to be loved, not crushed by those around
Shut it please, I love myself more than what you think
Shut it please, I love myself more than what they think
This little voice is speaking, more important than the ones whispering your voice
Shut it please, I love myself winning all the same
Shut it please, I love myself failing all the same
Jeez maybe it’ll be okay
I’ll find the sun in this storm
For me
Hey, there, maybe it’s time to drift on
Dozing in the purple cool clouded folds
I had enough, it’s tough, but it won’t for naught
So keep going and carry on
Just say the phrase, kay, there’ll be another day
So keep on trying, and never let up
Because I’m brave, great, and my light is still mine
So I’ll keep shining on with a light step new